Oh, snap! What have we done? We’ve recently introduced a new member to our family- Kevin Sloppy Waffles. Yes, you read that correctly- formally Captain Kevin Sloppy Waffles, the English Bulldog. Who am I to ruin children’s puppy name dreams?
Dogs have almost always been a part of my life, but a few hold an extra special place in my heart. During my childhood and into my teens, I remember Teddy, the next Teddy, Dreamer the rescue dog, and Babe. That Babe. After my accident, she sure got me through some very dark and painful days and nights. My mom always had very strict household rules and was one of those people who vacuumed patterns into the carpet and knew when someone had stepped foot into the off-limits museum rooms. Needless to say, dogs messed with her meticulous mojo. Babe was allowed on the main floor of the house and knew she couldn’t cross the carpet colour change into forbidden territories.
I wasn’t living at home when I was in my accident, but I was forced to move home shortly thereafter. My bedroom was the media room, just down the stairs from the main floor, and my parents’ bedroom was upstairs. Perfect! I could sneak Babe downstairs into bed with me and snuggle with her all night. She certainly stole a big piece of my heart during the years following. The beauty of our relationship must have stolen the hearts of my parents, as well, as they eventually granted her unspoken permission to spend the nights with me. I lost a piece of me the day she left this earth.
After that, I fell in love with a little fluff nugget, named Cody Bear, a loyal little Chow. I’ll save that whole story for another time…with wine.
In my original post, How I became Perpetually Perfuct, I wrote that I had never been so unhappy as I was when I had my perfect little apartment with my perfect little puppy. Well, the one thing that was actually perfect during that terribly lonely, horrible time was my puppy, Lieutenant Lucy (Lucifer) A. Lexus, my first English Bulldog. That awful little alpha B#$ch stole my heart! We went everywhere together- plane rides, work, play…she was my right-hand girl. She loved her mama something fierce and basically hated or, if you were lucky, tolerated everyone and everything else. Throughout my relationship with my husband, from our second date until her passing, she peed on his laundry, humped him if he hugged me, and tried to show him that I was hers and he should really mind his own business. He should have considered himself lucky- at least she didn’t throw up dirty diapers on him or pee directly on him like she did with prior boyfriends. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I was in a really bad place at times and she could make me laugh with a look, burp, snore, or fart and I’d rally back into action.
And, now, insert Kevin, aka “The Slop.” One day, as I often do, I was scrolling through a Facebook page dedicated to English Bulldogs. I have done this many, many times since losing Lucy, but never have my heart strings been yanked like they were when I saw the little wrinkled hunk of cuteness that popped up on my feed. I watched him for weeks knowing that we were heading away on vacation and that our work schedules sometimes aren’t conducive to having a dog. We had discussed waiting at least another year before thinking about it or seriously looking. However, this chubby, lazy boy was perpetually on my mind. The breeder and I stayed in regular contact and I was convinced that some other lucky person would steal him away forever.
But, low and behold, we went on vacation and, towards the end of it, the breeder still had him. I saw more videos and pictures and began talking more seriously with my husband. Everyone agreed that he was Lucy’s twin! The resemblance was incredible! I had to have him. Our good friends that we were away with informed us that they would take him during my travels and/or my husband’s long days of shift work. Problem solved! Ninety-five percent of our life is exceptionally fitting for a dog- I work from home most days and he can come with me to drop off and pick up the girls at school and snuggle beside me while I work. What great company for me, too! It’s often too quiet working all alone.
The girls had no idea and thought we were going back to school shopping, but, instead, we picked up their new puppy. They were beyond excited, as they had been repeatedly asking for one. The name Sloppy Waffles was the first thing out of my seven year old’s mouth. And, here we are today…
My husband has three daughters (I, also, have a step-daughter) and me, so he wanted the dog to have a manly name. Nothing like telling your friends that you’re watching the game and having a beer with Kevin. No one needs to know that Kevin is the family dog, right? And, he wasn’t sure he wanted to walk into the firehall and tell the guys that his dog’s name is Sloppy Waffles.
I feel like our family is once again complete. For the most part, he’s been a perfect little gentleman. That is, other than relieving himself on my favorite area rug. Perfuct. Once again, it’s just “stuff.” I’m over it…not really. The rug has glitter in it. What other rug has glitter in it?
He’s the perfect addition to our quiet life and reminds me of my special Lucy girl every day. He’s sleeping here beside me as I type and his little snore and shriveled up, exposed tongue make me laugh. Don’t fall off your chair while you’re sleeping like you did earlier today, Kevvie. Love you, little buddy.
Until next time, embrace your perfuction.