Twice a year, I get a little jumpstart on my base tan before I head off on our annual trips with my parents- Hawaii in November and Lake Havasu in March…that is, when their health decides to cooperate with our travel plans. I always feel better when I’m a tad more golden, but I don’t want to do it all the time. At the pool, you can often always tell who’s on their first days of vacation because they’re either white as a ghost or a lovely lobster red.
Hitting a tanning salon, always reminds me of the days when I used to own one and it was located right next door to a gym. It always cracked me up when a customer could tell if they tanned with me or when they tanned after their “sweat sesh” at the gym.
You’ve seen the one; the Selfie Queen who spends more time in the mirror looking at herself than actually working out. She is PerPITually Perfuct. She has a lovely tan and great little bod, but, EEK! She has the whitest armpits you’ve ever seen. In those days, I could have assured you that she wasn’t tanning with my team.
I saw one of them the other day at a yoga class and I think I experienced flashbacks! She must visit a tanning bed four to five times a week. Please, if you are going to make the decision to tan, go where they educate you well and you are confident that they take care of their equipment.
Often, I hear an employee simply ask, “How long do you want to go for?” They should have received training and should be offering you suggestions, especially if you are new to their facility. And, don’t forget to think about any areas that haven’t been exposed. If you’re just returning from your Mexican vacay and think your tan is epic, STOP, LOOK, ADMIRE, and then confirm that you have no white bits that weren’t exposed during the trip. Trust me! They aren’t going to be happy with your twenty-minute tropical nap.
If it’s your desire to try and slowly even out any tan lines, don’t expose them first with the plan to cover them up later. I know, I know…you never fall asleep in the tanning bed, but today will be your lucky day! Always cover them up first and, when you’re still awake during the last few minutes, unveil your bits and pieces.
I’m not a doctor, but in my “Certified Tanning Bed Operator” opinion, always use a tanning lotion that is formulated for indoor use and always turn your face-tanner off or use equipment that doesn’t have one. No one wants to be the next Leather Lynn! Our faces are exposed to the elements every single day!
And, after your tanning session, even though you may be sporting the infamous post-tanning smell, wait before you shower, in order to maximize your results! The tanning process doesn’t complete itself for hours. And, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. We’ve all seen Arizona knees! Or, maybe, for those of you from the east, I should say “Snowbird Knees.” You know them; the golden-brown crepe paper that droops slightly just above your kneecaps.
Be the hare- go slow and steady. You don’t want to burn. Your burn does not magically turn itself into a tan. You are increasing the damage to your skin. And, for heaven’s sake, don’t get PerPITually Perfuct. Slide down in the bed, like a roadkill frog, and put your hands up over your head for part of your session. You’ll be glad you did (ps- it helps minimize the little booty crack white lines, too).
Until next time…embrace your Perfuction.