It has taken me forty years to have answer the question, “Who am I?” And, it’s one that is constantly changing and evolving. I started life from humble beginnings with parents who struggled with mental health challenges and addictions. From as early as I can remember, I was shared between my parents and their very different lifestyles.
I don’t feel that this was a negative in life, but instead, a major positive in shaping who I am today. I am a creative, strong, flexible, caring, passionate, driven mother of five. If I had to pick one word that best describes my character, it would be perseverance.
I grew up in a very rural part of BC. There was no TV, no radio, and no corner store- life was very simple. My early teens were quite a formidable time; years full of personal discovery and big dreams. I went from farm life to city life every couple of years and thought I had a pretty clear idea of where I was going to end up.
I planned on being a CPA or a professional artist and was focused on pursuing either or both. I worked earlier than many, as it was apparent to me that one needed to work hard for anything and everything they had. I am very introverted and found solace in reading and nature. Family life was not easy for me as we were very isolated and I was moving often between the two households.
Life changes so abruptly and my life was no exception. I dropped out of school by the end of the eleventh grade, gave up all of my previous aspirations, and moved back to the city at seventeen. Over the next couple of years, I was walking a dark road and found myself pregnant with at nineteen. Wife and mother- these were roles I now unexpectedly founds myself lost in.
In my early twenties, I knew I had to change my course in life. I was stuck with no sense of self and always put everyone before myself. Life was lacking purpose and I felt defeated and unhappy. I decided to go back to school and chose a career in the beauty industry. With nothing to lose, I put 110% into creating a new life for our young family. As soon as I finished school and started out in my career, I found life changing again.
Following the birth of my second child, my personal dreams were once again put on hold, as I found myself back in the familiar territory of just surviving. By the time my marriage fell apart, I was a young mom of three and had a very bleak outlook on life. But, somehow, I started to discover myself again. I knew I was worth more and had more to give. As they say, difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.
I chose to stop being complacent and started fighting for my place in this world. Fast forward a couple of years and I learned to live and love again. And, most importantly, I was learning to love myself again. The juggle of work and life balance is something most can relate to and I was finally starting to figure it out. That was until the universe decided that I needed to be busy with more. I was blessed with twins, who, when looking back, gave me some of my life’s most valuable lessons.
I, once again, struggled to not fall back into my old patterns. I chose to continue to work on my career and to continue to work on myself. I was the only person responsible for my happiness. Being a mentor for my children, creating inspiration, positivity, and caring for others were always a part of my life goals.
Now, my life has purpose- I have drive and reason. I strive to prove, to myself and to my family, that you can do anything if you want it badly enough. See? I am a recovering, pessimistic perfectionist. This former mindset stopped me from attempting anything that wasn’t a sure thing. I am learning to take chances, to believe in the process, and take the first steps. These steps have taken me through the last few years of my life, where I continue to discover more about myself.
I have finally crossed off a few goals, like getting my drivers licence after five children, going back to school to finish my GED, and picking up a paintbrush, again. If there is one thing that has stayed with me my whole life, it’s to never give up, work on my dreams and do everything with intention.
Today, I am in a leadership role both at home and at work. My career has led me to have the opportunity to successfully work alongside and to inspire many amazing people. I measure some of my success on the success of those around me and I will continue to inspire. With every curveball and lesson, I will continue to remind myself that you are never to young to start an empire and you’re never too old to chase a dream.
So, the answer to my question, “Who am I?” I am Perfectly Perfuct and I am worth it.